On Being the Daughter of a Southern Lady
There are a few transgressions that just aren’t allowed when you were raised by a woman with “the bigger the hair the closer to the Lord” mentality. Don’t get me wrong, my mother has adapted to the times and scaled it back. (Read: ordered by the Government to reduce aerosol use due to ozone holes directly over Winston-Salem, NC). I digress; here are a few “No, Nos” for those that weren’t fortunate enough to be reared south of the Mason-Dixon.
- No parting your hair in the middle…you look like a dirty hippy.
- There are few insults in life worse than having ones hair color be referred to as “mousy brown”.
- A close second: dishwater blonde.
- Third: brassy.
- “We just don’t leave the house without earrings on, Leah Greenwood. What do you think we are…animals?!”
- Mary Kay might as well be Mary the Mother of our Lord….because, we worship her.
- If you INSIST on going in public without your eye make up, you better not take off those sunglasses. I don’t CARE if you’re in a dark movie theater. What if someone sees you??!!
- Toe nails are painted. Always. And don’t come at me with that blue or green shit. You can borrow my red.
- God invented girdles for a reason.
- Same goes for hot rollers.
…mothers in the South, the most beautiful bitches in the world.
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horseteeth liked this
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sciencingsara liked this
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sciencingsara said:
Oh the dirty hippy line…my mother says that all the time! Also, you should probably add that not-grooming your eyebrows is not an option. My mom came at me with all of this + tweezers. She’s had to get over the not normal nail colors though.
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agirlaguyandababy liked this
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liligolightly liked this
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retrotrash said:
damn, I am a yankee hippie!
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allsassandshag liked this
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tomboyinheels said:
LOVE this. The hair thing? Spot. On. :)
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tomboyinheels liked this
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raleighwoodrockstar posted this
